Options

  Ahh a day off..  Feels good today to do the menial things.  Laundry Packing and organizing.  Ready for my next move.  More than likely first week in January.  Been throwing out the old.  Down to my 2 suitcases soon.  And My Computer,  tho the way things are going.  That's gonna fit in a suit case too.  
 
  Options,  we all like to have them,  most of the time.   Some can be both delightful, and a burden.  others seem cut and dry to one person.   Some see the decision as obvious.  But then they do not see the whole picture.  Just the landscape from their view.

  I find myself in a situation I thought I had remedied with this new job.  Health Insurance,  too expensive through work to afford it, rent utilities and other necessity.  Obama care?  Hmm,  not in the mood to go there completely.  But I am lookin' into it.

I cannot loose anymore of myself,  mental, emotional, or physical.

  Weighing my options, of which I have mainly 3.   I have put them all on actual paper.  One sheet each.  Pros on front Cons on back.  Still a work in progress,  but then,  I have a little time to make the decision.   They might even end up as not exactly "Options"  but plans.  Clear cut paths on the map I can tread.  Let's see how the weather is as we go.  I can cut a path, blaze a new trail in places if need be.   But I really must stick with the plan initially in my mind.  Simply make it,   singularly.

  I really dunno if I will,  and this brings me to a little bit of a reality share.   I am tired of the mentality that everyone will.   As if no one knows anyone who didn't "Make It".  We don't talk about them, painful reminders of the reality of life.  It's kind of sad really.  Humans do pick and choose which of these people or happenings have importance.   In One hand 9-11 is something we have to commemorate,  so important,  such a lesson to learn for us.  A lesson life teaches us about society on a regular basis.    But <Insert random persons name that you know and maybe take some blame for their not making it here> Who taught us a lesson in life and its darker side.  How maybe we can put light out more yourself,  Not so much someone to commemorate.

  General consensus be damned.

  Dun even know if that makes sense in words,  but in my head it does!  There's another possibility. All in my head?  Always a possibility.  Well,  not all but parts, all of us do that.  Some more than others.  

 Feels like the Swamp of Sadness in Never Ending Story.

ARTAX!!!  NOOOOO!!!

 Don't let the mood of the swamp get to you. You will sink in and die.  Daily mental determination,  discipline,  and focus.  *snorts*  yeah.   Why does that seem like a little bit of a downer in itself.

 I need to make this decision in my own way,  carefully, slowly, and with a lot of thought on it.  It wont happen in a week.  Will happen when it happens.  Gotta break this line before it comes full circle.   The only way that will happen is to make sure I make my decisions in a different way than before.  That will take a lot of examination.  Which I do, am doing, and will continue doing in my way.   I wont hurt myself or anyone else in this.  I will proceed with caution.  Not just for me,  but anyone I might tread on in the process.  You always do,  it's just a matter of who gets it,  and how quickly you can realize yer doing it and stop!

 Due north?
 Local?
 Towel Toss?
 East?

Options,  sometimes they are a burden,  other times a blessing.

Stay Focused My Friends.
)O(
Lilith