Well now, where do I begin. In the past week I wen't from darkness to light shining a little in my world again.
I had quality time with good friends, Met new ones and am prepping for this months Fetish Factory party! "Seasons Beatings" Cleaver.. I really cannot wait. This time I am going Masquerade. Black Ball gown. Opera length black finger less gloves, Beautiful half mask reminiscent of the Phantom of the opera. Cool thing is. I think my friends Shocker and BlueShirt are gonna go with me!
I had Faith Rekindled in a friend I had feared I lost and have, I think, found my next place. Things seem to both fall apart and come together all at once for me. YAY Roller coasters!
In my International Man Of Mystery blog I spoke about a girl he was chatting to from Thai Land. This girl brought a serious smile to his face. She lightened his mood and I loved to hear the tone in his voice when he was talking to/about her. Always willing and wanting to please and make him smile. Recently he found a woman who makes him very happy. I see it in his face and hear it in his voice.. Its beautiful and I am so happy for him based on his present state as far as his health and mood.
Good Job!
Well one thing anyone will tell you, if you ever spoke to me or knew me when he and I were hanging on a "intimate" level. He is influential. He is endearing and for this lil girl he was the center of her universe. She has had plans to come see him for almost a year, but since he started dating he told her not to come. The Determined lil Minx that she is. She showed up. Knocking on his door and TBH it was a disrespectful of her to do so.
Bad !! Cute!! But BAD!
This did not mean that his Need to tell her to go, send her away and tell her not to come back Didn't break her heart. Being as I have felt in the past the heart break it causes when you realize, as ChinaGirl said "not being the lucky one" I went and met her after he left her off at her hotel.
The best Idea I ever had
The first night I did, she came to the apartment and ate some chicken soup and I let her just cry to me. Unload all of what was in her head concerning him and how it broke her heart. She is the sweetest thing. Sharp as a whip, and very very endearing. The second day I took her with me to The Swap Shop in Ft Lauderdale and The Fetish Factory Store in Oakland Park. She is a never married Thai girl with a Dowry. I wanted to see her blush in the Fetish store. She did too as bright as a the sun. but she also helped me pick out some nice pieces for the party next week. I have to say, She helped me spend less than Half of what I was going to on the whole thing. That and the fact my Friend Tracy had given me a black ball gown that would be perfect for the event!
I caught her admiring the restraints.
She kind of takes the whole "orientals and their cameras" Stereo Type and nails it home. She loves to take pictures and loves to have them taken. I will post some throughout this blog.
Apparently this lil thing has a love for Fast cars. She saw the "Museum" at the Swap shop and hand to have a pic of herself in front of almost every car. The way her eyes lit up when she saw the cars was so amazing. So we went inside and I snapped pics of her in front of them
Once we got home she insisted I dress up in the outfit for the party so she could take pictures. I put on that dress and the whole outfit and I swear I felt like Cinderella. Yet another moment where seeing my image made me question it was even me.
Chan roo-sok suay mak (I feel Beautiful in Thai)
Now I know some people will say I was stupid to go and get her, to put myself in a position where I had a lil more drama than I needed.
Drama bad. peace and calm good
But I look back on a lot of the last few months and I was left completely alone at times when I felt I wanted to die. Asking those same questions I heard from her lips.
"What is wrong with me"
"Why am I not good enough"
"Did I not make him happy enough"
No my dear sweet and so trusting lil new friend.
This is the chance you make when you let your heart get involved.
I couldn't leave her alone with that. *I* don't have that ability, When someone needs a shoulder, If I have it and the time to give, I cannot say no. I never will
So I made sure to give her a bit of what I saw from my side concerning her.
I did not know one other person that gave him such a delightful uplift as her. And I made sure she knew it.
Her and I hung out for the afternoon, she ordered Thai food, in Thai which in itself made me giggle. We played with my dog and chatted about relationships, men, sex, and.. the differences between most american women and women from her country. Also in family. My family was sheltering like hers can be, it was an interesting conversation. We also talked about religion, which for me, a HUGE subject.
After she went back to her hotel, I sat on the couch, 3 hours of sleep, lots of emotional Outpouring, the past couple days have been Satisfying on every level.
Including a late night visitor. Learned last night a man who knows hes wronged you, can really make it up to you in the most, amazing way. Mmh been a while... I dare say since before my Divorce, that I have been this, well rounded, and satisfied!!
Stay Determined My Friends
Lilith
)O(
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