The Truth Game

  One of the most difficult things in a relationship.  Any kind be it friendship or Lovers is keeping communications open.   It can make or break even the strongest of bonds.  When I was a child I would spend lots of days at my cousins house in the country where I was born, or there about.  I learned to trust that real and good relationships and marriages could exists by watching them.   They knew what worked and hand it down to a science.   It was through them I learned the meaning and experienced emotional arousal,  and what I wanted from the man I could,  and would grow old with.

  They had a routine,  every night the same thing.  They would make tea and sit at the kitchen table talking not about bills or religion.  They talked about them their day happenings in the family.  Only ever positive.  Ending with them making love.  HE was so loving.  He told her often,  little touches as he passed her when the kids were around.  when he thought we weren't watching,  there was full on groping.    I fell in love with love through them.

 I have found the one who shown me why all others did not work out.  Why they were not meant for me.

Because I was waiting for him.

 The truth game

   My life since I have gotten divorced has had me on many "ships".   Friendships and lovers but I have always found few people are able to really understand the meaning of communication.  A Lesson I learned from my cousin and her husband.  It isn't gonna work unless both want it that way.

  Today is my Mojo's Birthday.  I hate that I cannot be there with him so we hang out on skype gaming.  It's what we do every day.  I in my mind wanted to do something different and just was struggling.  Even my roomate said I should do opposite of what we do normally!  It was Mojo that reminded me of a game i learned to play in the past few years.  The truth game.   It's simple really,  if you are in the same space.  Get a peice of paper and a pen and write at the top of the paper "TRUTH" and from there on out you take turns,  writing one truth on the paper.  It is an interesting game.  It's made me some life long friends.

  HE expressed a desire to talk more.  That we didn't enough.

The truth that lead to the truth game on Mojo's birthday

He was right,  we spend all our time gaming.  Together, yes but it still isn't talking, sharing or doing exactly what it is that I saw in my cousin's marriage.  We played the truth game for only a short time and the lines of communication opened.  Flood gates of truths.  Not about bills,  not about religion, but about US.  Some things I had been stewing about inside.  His desires for us to be together making it harder to sit and "be looking in" and do nothing more.   I was feeling the same.

  For those of you who question.  Who think the possibility of love happening in the way and place it is happening with me and Mojo.  I feel a great deal of pity for you and the peice of your heart that will never know the joy I have found not just in the relationships I have here in my own home town.  Friends and lovers of the past.  Those I have had in my physical space.   But in the friendships I have found and the Love I have finally realized I can have In people from thousands of miles away.


Stay open my friends
Lilith
)O(

Sirens' Songs of Doubt

   Everyone has an opinion.  Naysayers and well wishers alike.  Some give their opinions convert ways.  Giving no real opinion just manipulating their way into the mix with what they feel is expert and effective Prowess.    Reality is,  my mind is made up.  I am gonna take a good swing at a new life.  A different life.   A guy who adores me for all my good,  and can giggle at the negative or see thru it to the reasons for it.  

  I take all the real cautionary advice and put it in a easily accessible place in my mind and let it stew.  I do not disregard it if it is a legitimate thing to consider,  Examples?  Ok well if we are gonna discuss the positive lets hit the negative as well..


1.   What if we find ourselves utterly repulsed by one another once we meet in person.

      Well here's the thing,  Shocking info for all of you.  I threw all the doubt's out the window and have thrown My physical self out there to him in full and living color.  He knows how I look fully clothed and utterly naked.  Every angle every state every inch.   All that is left in that department is taste, smell and feel.   I am pretty confident in that area.   As far as him.   HE has done the same.   I love the look of each and every inch,  I cannot wait to get the rest;  Taste,  smell, feel.

2.  What about the distance from family and your friends?

   OK here is some powerful truth for you all.   My friends dumped me long ago.   Most of the people I would call friends right now I have not known long enough to worry about distance.   Communication in Emails and snail mail is just fine for both groups.    Family,  I love them but I have spent most of my time away from them,   As Callus as it may sound I will miss them but life as usual it would be.  And I have already made sure I can get back if it was utterly necessary for a while.   So All of that is fine.

3.  What if it doesn't work out.

  Isn't this always a question in any relationship we start?   Always a gamble not just with our life but our hearts and our happiness as well.   So really I can get home.   It's a reasonable gamble.  There is something in my gut tells me. however, I am right on track.


Every day that passes he does something else that blows my mind away.  My International Man Of Mystery once said I just needed to find a guy who appreciated me for the nurturer I am.

Guess what?

NAILED IT!


  Someone I want to talk in short about is Morph.  He released me the other day.  I wanted to talk about it here that day but needed to think first.   I wanted to make sure I expressed my opinions on the situation but did it in a respectful way.  I have a huge and amazing amount of respect for this man.   I dunno if he knows it,  but I do.  Like I told him when I saw him last.

HE will always be "Master" in my eyes.

Why?  He deserves the title.  Kind, patient, persistent, truthful, consistent and loving.  Commanding and dominating he takes what he wants when he wants it but he also gives so very much.  Balanced and wonderfully calming.   Why did he release me?

  The fact I was going to meet with and be with my Boy Mojo made him see me differently.   Means I was marked by another man,  I was not his alone.   I understand this,  I understand it would change his feelings for me.   I also hope and believe he understands I could not spend my life not looking for what it is I have wanted my whole life.   A good real love,  partner and friend.  Had he not been married.  Maybe it would be different.

I hope he won't be a stranger.

It would be a loss of an amazing presence and influence in my life.
TY Morph for being a part of my world, if it hadn't been for you,  softening that shell.  I could not have let my Mojo in.  I know that undoubtably makes it a little worse.  I hope it helps you to know you do and will make a difference for me.  I hope I did for you in some way.


I feel like there is so much more to say.  Things I want to say but am still walking on eggshells over.   I have some things in Ft Lauderdale I need to get.  A Passport and my Divorce Decree so I can finally put My married name to rest.  Get my Passport updated and get ready for New Years in Amsterdam.   Snags in retrieving them however.  I am hoping I can get some reasonable out of all this.  Will be nice to see some people and say good bye properly. Then again,  is it really something that is gonna be a positive experience?

Good with the bad,
Positive with the negative
The cherry with the pit!

Gotta take one with the other.
Life kinda forces ya to!

Stay True To You My Friends!
)o(
Lilith